Friday, May 28, 2010

[Food] Man vs Food: World's Largest Hamburger...ever.

So, today was a typical day in the life of Niron, basically awash with boredom, heat, mosquitos, pointless driving and debates on alternate fuel sources. In essence, about as exciting as a KKK meeting with no black people to lynch. Though, I will admit, the food is pretty good...

Speaking of food, I was channel surfing earlier and something on the Travel Channel caught my eye: an episode of "Man vs Food". Now, even though I like shows about food, I rarely ever watch this show because of how grotesquely unhealthy most of the featured items are. I'm no health freak but most of that shit is like a 42 year old man lurking in a van at a daycare. Bad news bears.

However, on the episode that I was watching, I saw something that done gone and blew my goddamn mind y'all.
This guy decided he would try to eat the world's largest burger, and I was like "That's coo, brah." until I saw the mighty beast itself. It was around 200 pounds of fearsome beastie, you heard me, 200 f****** pounds.

Just look at that meaty titan, 185 lbs of beefy goodness and the equivalent of 10 loaves of bread, topped with about 2 heads of lettuce, 10 onions and another cow's worth of cheese. (and some special mayonnaise, judging by the look on that guy's face)

Now, I'm sure some smartass is gonna say, "Niron, nobody can eat that by themselves!"
We know this. That's why the host had the help of 40 random Detroit citizens in tackling this challenge. Including all the members of Kiss. Wtf.
But get this, even with 41 tubby Americans tackling this monstrosity, they couldn't defeat it.
That isn't too surprising , when you consider that each person would have to eat approximately 5 lbs of burger, which I might add is a f****** lot. They did make it to 160 lbs though, which I suppose is a great enough feat, since they each ate the equivalent of a whole roasted chicken.
Meanwhile, kids are starving in Africa, on my couch, and just about everywhere that isn't America.
In the spirit of fairness, the owners of Mallie's Sports Bar and Grill in Southgate, Michigan do offer this specialty to anyone willing to buy one, all for a measly 500 USD. So you better crack those piggy banks and get some slim fast ready kiddies.

F*** it, I got a date with some donuts and ground beef.
Live long and prosper, bitches.


  1. We'd need like 60 other people. Cause I cannot eat 5 pounds of burger. I can't even eat 1.

  2. Dig deep!
    Heh, where's brassieminaj when you need her?
    She could probably topple the thing by herself..

  3. its 2.5 of our burgers just to eat 1 lb of beef, most i ever eaten is 2 burgers b4 i felt kinda sick

  4. LMFAO!! Niron...leave Brassieminaj alone!! She has enough to deal with already...first you offered cookies now burgers?? you really want her to die aint it? lol

  5. LMAO @ brassieminaj!! *dies*

  6. She just has to eat 5 pounds...that's probably a light snack to her :\