It's probably a well documented fact that the internet is filled with useless and possibly retarded things that might as well have been invented by leprous chimpanzees.
"But what about originality and freedom of expression?!" you gasp in slack jawed wonder.
Well, bollocks to that, I say.
Most of the products rolled out nowadays are formulated based on such bad logic that it baffles the mind. Take, for example, Lanacane Anti Chafing Gel. It supposedly stops your thighs from chafing and causing you great discomfort with it's silky, silicone based, wondrousness.
However, if you weren't a morbidly obese balloon person shuffling miserably around the room, it wouldn't be necessary in the first place, would it?
This seems to be a classic case of trying to quick fix problems with superficial solutions that have nothing to do with the problem itself. Maybe if the consumer base for this product would get up off their fat arses and, I don't know, play dance dance revolution or some such curmudgeon, they wouldn't be in this situation in the first f****** place.
It may seem like a petty thing to rant about to some of you, but you lot can bugger off for all I care. You're probably the same crowd that thinks Jay-Z is a good rapper.
Seriously though, another Jay-Z album is about as necessary as another holocaust.
In fact, the only songs that I liked off the last ones were the ones where Jay-Z's participation was minimal, delayed and altogether unnoticeable. Sort of like the retarded kid in the corner that teachers call on once in a while just so he feels loved.
Speaking of things that were unnecessary, but amazingly funny, were the FailBook loser awards, culminating in someone being voted as the biggest loser on Facebook by the general public. Hilariously, privacy laws on Facebook allow your profile to be put on blast like this, so even though I know you, it's f****** funny and I will be entertained at your expense.
Feel free to respond in the comment section.
It's only fair that I give you the opportunity to defend yourself from the loling masses, even though this may result in much rage, death threats and possibly pudding.
Cheers!
